It didn’t really die, although its power was kaput. I set it on the recharger last night, and after an hour, I picked it up and put it on. Went to bed and woke up to my phone alarm, instead of my watch alarm. My phone alarm is loud and obnoxious; my iWatch alarm is polite and chirpy. So, I checked it. As I looked, its low battery light flickered and went out. Dead, dead as fried chicken. I went to put it back on the charger and discovered the little plug that goes into the block had pulled out. No juice, no watch. I fixed it, put the watch on to charge, and went to breakfast.
Halfway to yoga class, I noticed I’d forgotten to take the watch off the charger and strap it on. Since I wear it all the time, except when charging, I felt a bit naked. And peeved I forgot. I did have my phone with me, but now I wouldn’t be able to record my workout, couldn’t get a preview of messages and emails, and worst of all, couldn’t get live blood sugar readings to track.
I griped about not having my workout recorded and ruining my perfect week. Then I realized—when had I become so dependent on outside validation? Wasn’t the fact that I went to yoga and had a workout good enough? Internal validation used to be the norm. Why am I looking to an inanimate object to tell me I did well? Has my brain’s dopamine reward system restructured itself to behaviors necessary for survival include watches, phones, computers, and Grammarly?
These things are giving me feelings of “pleasure and motivation” thanks to the dopamine. It’s not how I want my brain to work. So back to making art, cooking, hanging out in nature, creating things where my internal validation shines through. (We’ll talk about perfectionism another time.)
What about you? Have you noticed this trend toward external validation? What are you doing to counter it? Or do we just live with it?